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A little too distracted by SportsCenter and a lot too excited for the Giants game to post right now.  So I am just saying "hi" to Grammy. (Promise to post later, Grams.) Off to Austin and Steve's neighborhood bar, where everybody knows their names...

Things that do not make sense

Some of the funniest stand-up comedy skits that I have seen have been instances when the comedians have joked about realities in our everyday life that simply do not make sense.  And there is a lot of material.  For instance, where are all the baby pigeons?  There is one comedian who performs regularly at The Comic Strip Live in Manhattan, who often bets the audience that no one will be able to locate a baby pigeon in the city before the show is over.  He also says that pigeons must be like Marines—they leave no wounded warriors—because he has never seen a dead pigeon in New York.

There are many different words that we use—in various situations—for things that do not make sense: “ironic,” “hypocritical,” “tongue-in-cheek,” “strange,” or as my mom sometimes says, “wack.”  Sometimes, it can be annoying or maddening when people are hypocritical.  Like when a friend—who spends 85% of all your conversations with her talking about herself—complains about how self absorbed all her other girl friends are.  But, on a good day, this might make you smile.  Because when you think about things that don’t make sense, sometimes they are just too darn wack not to smile.  Like these things:

*When a guy—who has been arrested for getting into a fight at a bar—criticizes a friend for getting into a fight at a bar that did not end in arrest (“A bar is not the place.”) in front of mutual friends who witnessed the guy’s arrest.

*When your boss tells you (at 5 p.m.) that you should “really go home early tonight,” as he hands you more work to do.

*When someone asks you for advice on whether she should do A or B, and after you tell her to do A, she gives you three reasons that explain why you are wrong and why she should actually do B.

*When it makes people happy to be miserable.

*When a cat survives getting hit by an 18-wheeler.  And when that same one-eyed cat outlives her great, great, great grandchildren.

*When you disconnect the battery of your car every time you turn your car off (and reconnect with a wrench every time you turn it on), in order to save power.

*When someone asks you to do him a favor and you realize that he could have done the task in the time it took him to explain it to you.

*When you pre-game an open bar.

*When you are out to dinner with a dozen or so friends and at the end of the meal, the same few people realize that they do not have any cash and that there is no money on their debit cards.  And those are the same people who planned the dinner and chose the expensive restaurant.

*When a visiting friend (who you gave a key to your apartment to) wakes you up at 5:15 a.m. to buzz him into the apartment.

*When you spend an entire evening dancing, flirting, and making out with a stranger at a bar, and you leave with only her friend’s number.

*When girls wear Uggs with mini-skirts.

*When the innkeeper at the bed and breakfast that you are staying at for the weekend tells you, “I’ve seen blood on the sheets.  I’m not worried about contracting AIDS, though; I’m worried about hepatitis B.”

What doesn’t make sense in your life?

My weekend in photos

Okay, so I am being lazy but I don't want Grammy to be upset with me for not posting—even if I am a day late—so here is my weekend in four photos. Don't worry—I'll get over taking photos on my brand new iPhone 4S soon...

This was Saturday afternoon, after Austin realized that I was not going to stop saying, "We should go outside," (or actually go outside) until he turned off the television and came outside with me. It was an unseasonably warm day that drew many people (and their dogs) to Central Park. It felt just like an early spring day, as Austin waited in line at a Mister Softee truck, behind a few toddlers. This area of the park (above) reminded me of the piazzas I walked through in Italy and the plazas I wandered around in Spain last year. Sigh. I want to go back to Europe.

Another shot from inside the park, after Austin and I walked around the Upper West Side long enough for him to admit that there was not "nothing" over there. This view didn't make me think of anywhere else. Just New York. And how much I like calling it "home."

This was the bathroom I found myself in Saturday night.  Okay, early Sunday morning.  This made me glad to have a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse, and eager to go outside and show my friend Megan (who was eating at a counter in this Mexican restaurant) the photo.

This is a lame photo from inside Minskoff Theater, home of my favorite Broadway show, The Lion King. Seen it three times. Still magical. I wanted to take a photo of the stage, but I was too afraid of the female employee manning the aisle near me to even attempt. Of course, I thought about Liam and his service and Gretchen. See my first posts about Prince Liam the Brave (January and February, 2011).

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I know Giants fan did. And how about those Broncos? My mom has been trying to get me to go to church for years, but if the Broncos beat the Pats on Saturday, I just might have to find a nice church in my neighborhood. Another big weekend coming up...

2012 has arrived

The year 2011 ended a little blurry...

...but 2012 started just fine, with:

*Most of the guys at the New York City bar we went to thinking Carrie was an actress who got her start in Precious.  Isn't that what you would tell people if they asked you if you were famous?  Don't people ask you if you are famous all the time?

*Photographs of (quality) bar make-out sessions, white bra straps visible and all. I won't name any names, here...

*A 3 a.m. appearance by RKsoPitted at Ray's Pizza on the lower east side of Manhattan. RKsoPitted was unable to convince anyone from our New Year's Eve group to continue the evening with him in Brooklyn, where RKsoPitted planned to rage, but it was not for lack of trying. And one young man in the above photo did come very close to heading down the steps to the L train along with RKsoPitted, as the young man said, "Every fiber in my body is telling me to go to Brooklyn."

*Slices with multiple toppings. Thanks, Carrie. And, yes, Ray's was a lot more expensive than our Hamilton, NY haunt, Slices.

*Discussions of New Year resolutions, like, "Don't be fat."

*Plenty of anticipation and excitement for tonight's New York Giants game. And lots of fingers crossed.

*Some of the best people I know.

Happy New Year to all my readers. Especially you, Grammy.

Something to be happy about this holiday season

Just in case you are having a hard time finding something to be happy about this holiday season, I thought I would share a message that Austin left on my voicemail this afternoon.

"I just finished my Christmas shopping. It was terrible. It took two hours. I bought everyone gifts. I'm kind of depressed because my bank account is now empty. I'm glad it doesn't have to happen for another year."

Clearly, Austin was already looking on the bright side, but his grandmother also pointed out that being able to complete all of your Christmas shopping in one two-hour trip was quite an accomplishment. Nanny then told Austin that since he was so quick, he could do her shopping next year, in addition his own.  Maybe she will feel differently, though, after she sees what gifts the speedy shopper picked up today.  Maybe she will feel the same.  I for one am just keeping my fingers crossed that I will not be unwrapping any tents this year.  But that is a whole different story/blog post.

Happy holidays. And to all the grinches out there, just remember, this doesn't have to happen for another year.

Word Gems

Well, after a magical NY Giants moment last Sunday, thanks to JPP, today was kind of a let down.  Tonight, I was cleaning out my email inboxes (I have four emails—don't ask...) and text messages (my phone's inbox actually fills up—thank goodness they won't be making "dumb phones" much longer, right RKsoPitted?), feeling kind of bummed, and I found a few gems that made me smile.


A text from a boyfriend to his girlfriend: "We made so many bacon cheese fries last night haha. All the guys hooked up with chicks haha not me though."


A text from a friend, quoting another friend: "Do you think I actually wanted to punch him? I'm on a low-protein diet."


An email from an uncle: "I actually tried to comment on your blog, but it rejected my comment with some bogus error message. If I had a blog - I would have made a ranting, raving blog about how annoying your blog is..."


A text from a boyfriend to his girlfriend: "I know you well. You randomly pull out your phone every 3 hours and ask the bf what he's doing to keep hope in his mind. I'm not falling for it."


An email from a dad:
On plane and having glass of champagne before taking off.

Noticed it was flat and not very crisp.

Politely returned glass to steward.  He brought me a new glass, which was much better.

Later I commented that the first not so good glass might have been due to soap residue on glass.

He fessed up that first bottle was an imitation sparkling white and for my second try he opened a real champagne.

Sometimes you can not fool good old dad!




Share your word gems here. Greg, I know you have an email chain that is ripe for the picking...

Something Special

Do you ever have those moments when you realize that you're seeing something really special or that you're a part of something truly special—something bigger and better than you could ever be on your own?  Don't worry, I'm not going to get all woo woo on you.  (I wouldn't want my uncle to make fun of me all week long.  Good thing the technology wizard hasn't figured out how to comment on this blog website yet...)


But surely you know the feeling.  It's the times when you feel as a New Yorker that you really are living in the best city in the world—when you're looking at thousands of tourists smiling, staring up at a lit up Rockefeller tree and for once you're not annoyed at all to be surrounded by thousands of tourists, maybe because the tree is that beautiful, or maybe just because you believe in that instant that the city is actually kind of magical during the holidays.  Maybe it's when "Empire State of Mind" comes up when you're listening to your iPod on shuffle as you run through Central Park or along the East River esplanade on an uncharacteristically warm winter day.


When I went to Colgate in upstate New York, the moment was looking down at the campus from the top of the hill, near the library (but definitely not inside it), when I realized for the first time that year that summer had turned to autumn and the trees had changed to brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow.  A better moment was walking through the halls of an unimpressive (by almost all standards) athletic center, but feeling like I was walking to a place as familiar as a home could ever be—even if it was a smelly, cramped locker room, just big enough to be deemed a walk-in closet.  Even better was riding around campus, windows down, girl power song up, feeling suddenly so strongly that I wouldn't change my friends in the car for anything, even if they couldn't have been more annoying the night before.


This weekend, after a pretty crummy week (aren't you glad I'm a weekend poster?), I had a few more of just this kind of "moment":


One came on Friday night, as I ate a three-course meal (after a cocktail hour) at the restaurant, One if by Land, Two if by Sea.  It was a holiday party hosted by Austin's company, but as the speeches kept flowing from the owner of the company, the managers, and later, even from Austin, the unpaid intern, the fact that I wasn't actually an employee of the company kind of slipped my mind.  Because with everybody laughing, celebrating each other's achievements (and anniversaries that hadn't yet occurred), and making fun of one another's outfits, it really did feel like the family that everyone said it was in their speeches.  And yes, there was drinking and yes, the Kool-Aid did taste good.  Unfortunately, though, my bank account reminded the next day that I work in book publishing and not for Austin's recruiting company.  But, the moment was special while it lasted.


Another was when I took a taxi from the upper east side with a few friends and then we found out that the people who we wanted to meet up with were actually headed to midtown west, and then $15 later we were headed into Times Square traffic.  Oh wait, there was no moment there.


Today, it was realizing that even if I don't believe in Santa anymore, I still think the Nutcracker is a beautiful ballet.  It was being close enough to the orchestra to see the strings of the harps quivering and near enough to the stage to hear Clara's ballet shoes sliding across the wood floor.


And tonight, if the Giants pull off a win that few think likely, there could just be one more moment to round out the weekend.  And even if don't believe in Santa, this might just make me some sort of believer again.